Temper
by Belker
Summary: A little study of DiNozzo at a time when he wasn't so easygoing.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello again! This is just a little story I came up with tonight. It's a Tony study from his college days and his first months at NCIS. No spoilers. Enjoy and please review._

**Temper**

_Coach McManus never figured him out. He was such a good kid, well mannered, talked to everyone even though he didn't have to, popular as he was. He had good humor too, smiled a lot. Nevertheless, when push came to shove he had no control over the kid. He had yelled at him once at a game and had gotten nothing in return but a cold, green stare that froze the blood in his veins. The kid looked dead inside._

Gibbs had a really hard time figuring out his new team member. He seemed to be a good kid with lots of humor, though annoying sometimes, and he even made Gibbs smile on rare occasions. But that blank look he had gotten once when he had bellowed at him, almost made him lose his composure. It was as if the kid had shut down, his eyes glazing. It was after this incident Gibbs started with the head slaps instead. He had gotten a healthy reaction out of those.

* * *

_McManus watched the DiNozzo kid. He was very fit and a big guy. He was smiling now, as he played ball with his buddies. The coach wondered if the friends ever saw what he had seen that day; that flash of deep, deep hurt that had seeped out from DiNozzo's eyes as a reaction to his own raised voice. He realized that if the kid got out of control on the court he would have to physically drag him out of there, since he would never listen to logic, and definitely not to threats. _

Gibbs watched DiNozzo in the ring. He moved smoothly and threw the occasional punch. He was a fairly big guy and was surprisingly fit considering his diet. He had been with NCIS for five months and he looked pleased and calm as he danced around his opponent. Gibbs was glad the other guy didn't seem to piss Tony off. He didn't know if he had the strength to break up a fight today. His new coworker sometimes didn't listen to logic, and definitely not to threats. He wondered about that.

* * *

"_Hey! Hey, break it up!" McManus' voice echoed through the corridors as he lunged himself at the two young men on the ground, tearing them apart._

"_DiNozzo, care to explain?!" McManus was very displeased with his star player, and a little worried that the kid would get himself suspended a week before the playoffs._

_DiNozzo wiped the blood from his split lip, but didn't respond. McManus took a deep breath. _

Don't yell, don't yell…. _"DiNozzo?" His voice now calm._

_The kid didn't meet his gaze, but looked heatedly at his punching bag, who now cupped a bloody nose with his hand. "He picked on Douglas again", he said simply. McManus sighed and gave the scared freshman a questioning look. Douglas gave a weak nod and scurried away. "Okay, DiNozzo…", he sighed._

"Hey! Break it up!" Gibbs grabbed DiNozzo as two agents hauled the other guy into the hallway. Tony licked his split lip, but didn't look at Gibbs, who sighed.

"DiNozzo?"

"He was spreading rumors about Abby again", Tony said and then left the room. Gibbs never yelled at him for being stupid, but he suspended him for a week.

* * *

_It was a great night. They were on their way to winning the most important game of the season, when all cheers and laughter just stopped as the crowd watched one of their star players being tackled in midair, crashing to the ground in tremendous pain. The perpetrator simply smirked._

_DiNozzo's eyes flashed with a cold fire, then went totally flat. Afterwards he said he didn't even remember punching the guy and McManus believed him. He had seen that look in DiNozzo's eyes again and knew that the kid was unreachable. He was suspended for five games after that incident and got a really nice shiner that didn't disappear for almost three weeks. _

The murderer of a young petty officer ran for his life down the alley of one of DC's backstreets. He saw the end of the line as the alley opened up into a busy street, and pushed forward. Suddenly the female agent stood in front of him with her gun at the ready, yelling at him to stop. He didn't and slammed her smaller body to the ground as he collided with her. He got hold of her gun and smirked as he pointed it to her head. "Sorry, special agent Blackadder."

Suddenly he was thrown to the ground and only caught a glimpse of flashing green eyes before he was beaten to a pulp.

* * *

_His eyes turned very, very dark and the coach drew a sharp breath. He knew that he couldn't control DiNozzo at this point. He just watched the havoc, pleading it wouldn't be as bad this time. He wished he could get through to him, but had given up a long time ago. He figured DiNozzo was a lost cause._

His eyes turned very, very dark and Gibbs knew he didn't have much time. He put on his most demanding voice; "DiNozzo! I said let it go." He hoped it would help, that he would get through to his agent or else the other man was in for a world of trouble.

Suddenly Tony's eyes softened, just a bit. Gibbs didn't know if anyone else could notice the change but it was as if the world had shifted. He let out a breath he didn't even realized he had held. The kid actually listened to him.

"Good, Tony", he simply said. "Let's get out of here."

**END?**


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, here we go again! This was really meant to be a one-shot, but your reviews got me thinking. Maybe we all need some more explanations? I've hinted in this how it could have happened, with the glassy stares and his need for justice and protection for the weak. It's a short one. Maybe more will come to me in a while. We do need more Gibbs in this, don't we?_

**You die when you're young**

Anthony DiNozzo was one messed up kid.

Mr. Holly, the next-door-neighbor, was sure of it. He had heard the bellowing and screaming seeping out from within the great mansion from time to time, and he figured it _would_ mess a kid up.

* * *

Tony could sleep anywhere, anytime, and usually did it with great concentration and focus. Every now and then, however, the nightmares would come to hunt him down. They would lure, stalk him and then lunge themselves at him, throwing his weak mind to the ground, overpowering him with fierce memories. He usually woke up in a cold sweat, feeling sick to his stomach and sometimes he threw up, but he never screamed. _You mustn__'__t scream._

His father always yelled, though. Tony had learned the hard way just to endure it. He would stand in front of his next-of-kin and nod occasionally, but he never heard a word. The harsh remarks just turned into a din in the background. His gaze went distant, his breathing shallow as he zoned out, waiting for the inevitable. It had taken him a lot of years to hone that skill, but out of pure desperation his body went on autopilot and let him pass those moments relatively unharmed. His mind could never have survived the onslaught otherwise. The waiting was the worst part.

When he was younger he used to cry. He only hit until he cried. He never left any scars and no questions were ever asked in school.

Tony had stopped crying a long time ago, since his mother usually shed enough tears for both of them. She never intervened.

Nonetheless, she knew exactly what he went through, and offered hugs and sympathies afterwards.

Then it was too late.

The scars were already there, only underneath.

Yeah, he was one messed up kid.

* * *

_Was it over the top? I listened to a very sad song in the car right before I wrote this... ;) _


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, here's the final addition to my little Tony-study. Hope you like. _

_Spoilers for seasons 1-3._

* * *

Gibbs was really good at reading people, but DiNozzo had him puzzled for longer than he would care to admit.

The kid was way too undaunted in the field. No cop was _that_ reckless regarding his own safety, especially if he'd been working in Baltimore. He almost didn't seem to care. Just like the fights he'd often gotten himself into; it was just too carefree, too nonchalant, too '_Icouldn'tcareless_'.

It worried Gibbs and got him wondering. Not that he would ever ask.

_Tony wasn__'__t ready to share. He knew his new boss wondered about him from time to time, wondered about his history, but luckily he hadn__'__t been pushing the issue. Not like Tony was going to tell him anything from his past EVER anyway. There were just too many things best kept hidden. He wasn__'__t going to reveal the real Tony. The one with all the built up anger and frustration. He had a feeling he wouldn__'__t be well liked._

_His father had taught him many things. __To never flinch when taking a punch and to smile when tears threatened. To hide his __emotions__ so they wouldn__'__t be used against him. _

_Tony had __learnt__ it well._

Gibbs watched DiNozzo go through a lot of girlfriends. It didn't bother him at first; hell, he didn't even consider it noteworthy. The kid was good looking and had a lot of charm; he was young - why wouldn't he date many girls? But after a while, Gibbs noted the frenzy about it all. Tony never stayed with a girl for more than a few weeks; mostly it was a matter of days before Abby would tease him about having a new name on his speed dial. Gibbs' own track record with women was well known by all, but he had at least been _married_.

_Tony wasn__'__t going to turn out like his father. That was one of his biggest fears, and god knew he didn__'__t have many. That was the reason he could never connect or commit to a girl. It wasn__'__t that he objectified women; he was just afraid that he would eventually hurt them. The way his mother had been hurt._

* * *

Gibbs had noted that Tony's temper had stifled with the years, but it still seeped through from time to time.

He remembered the under cover mission gone wrong, leaving Tony and Ziva captors in a hotel room. Tony had convinced the assassins to go with Ziva to find the missing microchip. He had been beaten and would most likely have been killed had he not been able to surprise his captor. He had had that wild look on his face, the one Gibbs knew all too well, but it subsided once Ziva put her arm on his shoulder. He let it go.

_Tony remembered the time when he and Ziva were tied up in that hotel room and he__'__d been beaten. He really didn__'__t care all that much except for the little fact that he had Ziva__'__s life in his hands as well. He was ready to give up his own. He wasn__'__t afraid; he stopped being afraid years ago. But when he overpowered the little thug, his old temper flared and he nearly got out of hand. Nearly._

Gibbs sometimes thought about the night when Kate was killed. Tony had, due to shock and sleep deprivation, lashed out at McGee. He looked very hurt and angry but all Gibbs had to do was to tell him "Don't do that, Tony" and he'd stopped. Not a big deal.

_Tony felt it flare when McGee had made that plump comment about Kate being reluctant to tell Tony important things. He couldn__'__t contain the bad temper and just let himself go, smacking the kid really hard in the head. Luckily it stayed by that slap. In the early days, he wouldn__'__t stop there at an insult like that. He had loved Kate and he knew she told him close to everything. Maybe she had been afraid of what Tony would do had he found out what Ari had done to her in autopsy._

Oh, yeah, he had a bad temper all right. He just chose not to show it anymore.

He could control it now.

* * *

_AN: So there you have it. My explanation to some of Tony's behaviour. _


End file.
